Merlion Kena Struck by Lightning!

This post was abstract from "The Secret Political Blog" http://secretpoliticalblog.blogspot.com/2009/03/merlion-kena-struck-by-lightning.html.

I found it quite funny and hence just paste it in.

Merlion kena struck by Lightning: Ministers express their opinions

Part of Merlion's skull fell apart after a Lightning Bolt struck its head on Saturday. (See above picture)

Following the strike, an emergency cabinet meeting was organized as ministers tried to make sense of what is going on. Minister of Home Affairs, Wong Kan Seng, was however not present as he was still hiding in a small corner of his home hoping that no one will notice that the one year anniversay of The Great Escape had recently passed. He, however, sent a written note to the meeting asking if he will lose his job over the Lightning Bolt.

Another notable figure missing was President Nathan, who is currently in hibernation. Nathan claimed that he needed to hibernate for he over-exerted himself recently following his landmark decision to turn over the key to the reserves and holding a press conference to explain his landmark decision to turn over the key to the reserves. He was heard whining: "When they gave me this job, they assured me that I had to do nothing at all except to appear on national tv once a year during the NDP! Then now they make me do so much work! Whats next? Maybe next time they might even force me to actually campaign to get elected! Atrocious!"

Meanwhile, Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew was convinced that the attack on the Merlion was the work of foreign forces. "See? I told you all along that the foreigners and human right groups were always in a 'conspiracy' to 'do us in'. And that is why, we must be steadfast in celebrating our independence from the evil ang mo influence by continuing to abuse human rights." said MM Lee in the middle of writing a lawyer letter to be mailed to Chee Soon Juan.

When pressed for comment, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong expressed his opinion. "The Merlion is a national icon. In light of this unprecedented crisis, Singaporeans must stay together. We must be optimistic during this crisis. Remember! We can Upturn the Downturn, Spur ourselves on, Build and Boost our workforce, and there is no need to lose hope during this...." For the full details of what PM Lee said, please tune in to a state television channel around National Day to hear the 2009 NDP rally speech.

Minister for Community Development, Youth and Sports, Dr Vivian Balakrishnan used the opportunity to praise the work ethic of the Merlion. "Just look at the Merlion," he said, "After being struck by lightning, it is still working and spewing out water! That is the work ethic that I want Singaporeans to develop. Use the Merlion as your role model. Even if you kena lightning strike, and part of your skull fall out, don't look to the government for a crutch. Go back to work instead!"

On the other hand, Conspiracy Theorists online discussed the uncanny resemblance between the shape of lightning bolt which struck the Merlion and the PAP party's lightning bolt. "Look. Both have the same zig zag shape. How can this be a coincidence? Could it be that our leaders are actually behind the attack on the Merlion?" wondered a Mr Tan aloud before he was knocked out and dragged away by masked ISD forces. His current whereabouts remain unknown.

Another credible rumour on the internet is that the government has hired a top team of geomancers and fengshui masters to correct the disturbance in the fengshui force field caused by the lightning strike to the Merlion.

The Merlion struck was but one of the five Merlions originally placed around Singapore in strategically important positions to ensure the smooth flow of chi around Singapore and to create an atmosphere conducive for earning money. As such, the team of geomancers and fengshui masters will be given pay pegged to the top earners of the public sector to compensate them for their great service to Singapore's economy.

- Reporting,
The Secret Political Blog